so close and yet so far

"The oceans sing His praise

And the waves yell His majesty

The nations are amazed at the works He has done

Forever being changed by the beauty of His creation

None can fathom His power

None can think as He does, love as He does, and move mountains as He does

He takes the redeemed heart and breaks down walls

He remolds our souls

And He makes our spirits like small children within us

The joy of the Lord is uncontainable

That even those lost in darkness, cannot hide their eyes."

Friends and Family,

This experience thus far has been indescribable. We have continually seen the Holy Spirit move in the people we meet. Our team has focused intently on building relationships with the people here in order that we may shine the light of truth upon them. We have been teaching in the schools, attending weddings, going to festivals, meeting with people at the Mosques, and diving deep into the Turkish culture. It has been a crazy ride with ups and downs, but a learning experience above all else.

Next week we are moving to Izmere to do college work. We are all very excited to see how God is going to use us there. Everyday we have the chance to use what we learned in Belize. We invest our hands and feet into paving, sanding, working in olive orchards, and cleaning. We also get to invest our love and light into one another as we become closer as a team.

The culture has taken a bit to adjust to but as we are getting the hang of things, more opportunities arise for us to reach out even more.

Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts. Continue to shine brightly in your homes. As Ghandi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Much love from Turkey,

Bekki

turkey!

hello all!

so tomorrow morning, at 7am, 10 of us begin our travels to turkey. we are traveling until monday and are flying in and out of many airports. please pray for safety and endurance for our team as traveling will definitely wipe us out!

i am so excited for this new adventure. i don't really know what to expect and i'm a little bit nervous. i know the culture shock will be great and i won't quite know what to do at times, but i know that He has a great plan and will always be with me. turkey is definitely different than anywhere else i've ever been for many reasons. the biggest being that it is Muslim. this being so, i will not be able to update my blog that often and will be limited on the details that i give. this is because the government keeps tabs on christians/missionaries and we definitely do not want to get in any trouble with the law while we're there.

please pray for physical safety while we're there. we will be sharing the gospel through our lives and the relationships that we make. pray that we are protected from any harm because we are christians.

also pray for team unity as we will be living life together under challenging and unfamiliar conditions.

our ministry will include lots of "dirty work". such as....

herding goats? picking olives? clearing out land? and most of all, building relationships.

for this trip, i am the teams worship leader so pray that i will hear the voice of God and will be the best that i can be.

lastly, i miss all of you. i am so thankful for your support and will continue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. may you be blessed.

i will update my blog when i get the chance, i have no clue what internet looks like as of yet.

with love.

whispers

Sometimes at night, when the world is still.
Sometimes at night, when I sit at the end of a dock and look up.

Sometimes at night, when I can't see distance or count measures.

And sometimes at night, when I feel small.

I hear whispers.

Things like..."you are wonderfully made....you are my beloved...you were made for incredible things."

I look up at the pitch black sky and see countless stars...I look out at the ocean and imagine the world living beneath it...I listen to the howls of the wind.

And know that I am loved.

These past few weeks here in Belize have been extremely challenging. Never in my life did I think that I would be teaching 5th grade or leading worship so consistently or memorizing the world or blessing people through conversation and prayer. And that's just the beginning!
I am so blessed.

Oh, how He loves us.

Would you?

Picture this happening to you.

You have climbed up onto the highest point. It's a diving board hanging over a pool (think Olympic Style). Now that you've reached the top, your hands are starting to sweat and your heart is catching in your throat and you're beginning to second guess the decision to climb up so high.

Why did you climb up? Because God asked you to.

But, now that you're up there, you see that there is NO water in the swimming pool. You have been asked to jump into the pool....but, there is no water.

Do you have the faith? Do you trust that God has the best for you in store? Do you believe that He is going to spare your life? Do you have faith that He is going to fill that pool up with water while you free fall down?

The creator of the universe has asked you to step out in faith, to trust Him, to believe that He has the best in store for you. He sent His son to die for you, and has always loved you unconditionally and faithfully.

This being so...

Would you?
Would you jump?

A Test Of Faith

Something crazy happened the other day.
It was in the middle of the afternoon and the entire team met up for a session. During this time we were to write down what we were holding on to and things that were holding us back.
Know what mine was?
I had a problem opening up my hands and saying, "here, do what you want, i trust you." Notice the was and had.
We prayed and we cried and we had intense revelations about the chains and things in our lives that were keeping us from experiencing the love of God. It was in this moment that I prayed, "i trust you," that my entire life radically changed for the better. You see, I have this amazing opportunity placed before me.
As most of you may know, I have been living in Belize for the past 7 weeks attending a DTS (Discipleship Training School). It is here that I am learning how to be a leader and impact my generation through truth and love. At the end of the 12 weeks, a team of us are embarking on the next leg of our school in Turkey.
Okay, ready for the exciting part? While we're there we are just going to love. This outreach is meant to put our experiences into practice. To show grace, love, honesty, and integrity to a culture completely different from ours.
While to some of you this may seem dull or easy, I have some news for you.
Turkey is a country where 98% of the population is Muslim. And that right there, is all the more reason to spread love through the light of Jesus. This is definitely not hitting people over the head with Bibles or pounding the word sinner into anyone's mind! This is building relationships with love and trust as the foundation...allowing the light of Christ to show through us.
As St. Augustine said, "we should share the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words."

Would you please partner with me? The team needs prayer for wisdom and guidance as well as strength and unity. Prayer is an incredibly powerful tool and is so often forgotten, so please, join me on this outreach for love.
I have a remaining $2200 to raise by March 1, 2011. The need is substantial but I fully believe He will provide through those who feel called to support me. If this is you, please contact me as soon as you can. Any amount whether it be $10 or $100 will allow the love of our Father to reach those in Turkey.

Miss you all.

His perfect love

"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love." 1 John 4:18

Our God is a relational God. He is not beyond our reach or beyond our understanding. He is not "upstairs" toying with strings and turning His back when we go through times of struggle. He doesn't love us better when we become better. He loves us 100% right now. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us more...because He loves us 100%....100% of the time. Whether we have plans to become better or not.
He loves us where we are right now.

The only thing that changes is our ability to receive His love. He is waiting for us to receive the love that He wants to lavish us in. His love is perfect. There is NO condemnation in it. This is what true love is. This is perfect.

Friends, I have the opportunity to travel to Turkey this spring. The Lord has laid it heavy on my heart to bring His "missing children" home. But I need your help, my fellow brothers and/or sisters in Christ.

This trip will cost $4675. This covers roundtrip airfare, living, food, accommodations.

I will have more information up soon....but as of now the due date for these funds is March 1st.

If you can support this cause in any way, PLEASE talk to me.

My email is bekkibergeron@gmail.com

Thank you Thank you Thank you.

I will have more details up soon!

inseparable

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love." Romans 8:38

I've been in Belize for 2 weeks.
Is that it?

With everything that's happened, it really feels like I've been here for at least a month. The relationships that I have with the people here, the lifestyle, the everything...it feels broken in (a good thing). Although sometimes, the clock goes by so slow and I realize just how hectic my schedule was back home.

I've read through the book of John 5 times and realized just how ignorant we are about God.

I've been waking up at sunrise and diving deep into the scriptures.

Every morning there is a time of worship and intercession.

And this week, is about finding freedom in Christ.

Lot's of forgiveness, and tears, and sweat, and resentment, and hidden things being brought up to the surface.

Ouch.

Yet even in the midst of it, there is joy. I like to call this "laughter through tears." It's almost like a high.

It's the strangest release...sensation...emotion...combustion that I know of.

On another note, I was incredibly blessed this week with generous donations from an unknown donor. THANK YOU.

let go

This week I have learned to drop all assumptions and all barriers. In this new environment there's no time for walls, or opinions, or fears. Everything is right here, right now. My hands have been curled up into insecure fists for so long...and well...here they are being pulled open. Not by my will, but by His. He's saying, "Trust me, let it go. Trust me and you will be amazed."

Let go my friends. Let go of all control, of all doubts, of all fears, of all expectations. Live freely in Christ.

The what and the why

“What is the point?!”
That is a question I found myself asking many times throughout my life. “Why do I exist? What is the reason for this thing called creation?” I would often relate to the writer of Ecclesiastes when he wrote of life under the sun being a vanity and a grasping for the wind (Ecc. 2:11.) I would sit and imagine all of the great things that I could accomplish with my life, the impact that I could make or the pleasure I could attain. I would stretch my imagination to the fullest and then at the end of the daydream all I could think is, “After all that I die…I die”. No matter how great I could imagine myself the end of the matter was the same. Everybody dies.

I love truth and understanding God was the key to understanding the truth about me. To know what He was thinking and feeling became my sole passion. I wanted to know more than just the ‘what’ of His creation, I had to know the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’. Why did God create? Why the free will? Why did He put us in a garden with a choice and a chance to say no to Him? Why an enemy? Why the struggle for righteousness? Why the pressure? The pain? The pleasure? Why? I had to get to the heart of the matter to discover the reason for my existence.

God is the Creator. He could have created in any way He wanted because He is the author life. This whole thing was His idea. He is the one who is orchestrating human history. Sometimes we think that God was like a mad scientist up in Heaven when all of a sudden He mixed a few chemicals that caused an explosion and “Poof! Creation!”, as if God didn’t think it through but just ‘managed’ His mistake afterwards. We approach God as though He were cleaning up a mess by sending us Jesus as if it wasn’t His plan all along. Surely God is not that aimless. He had a dream, He had a vision, a goal, an aim. He thought this thing through and there was something He was after.

Life will never make sense until we get the bigger picture of a God who was searching for something. We are only satisfied in satisfying Him. We were created to answer the longing in God’s heart but what is He longing for? Nothing is hidden from Him so what is He looking for? He possesses all things so what does He want?

The Lord has given us the “transcript of His soul” to let us in on the deep things of His heart. In His Word He tells us the ‘why’ behind the’ what’. From Genesis to Revelation we see the golden thread of what God is looking for. He has laid His heart bare, opened it wide for all to see and over and over He would say, “I’m after your heart. Love Me! Love Me!” It all comes down to love because God is Love. The Father will have a family and the Son will have a bride. We are a part of something so much bigger than meets the eye.

What is love? Love is more than romantic notions or even a passive toleration and a few good deeds. Jesus isn’t your boyfriend nor is He a humanistic hippie. His Name is Jealousy (Ex 34:14). Our God is an all consuming Fire who wants to takes over. (Duet 4:24) Song of Solomon says it like this, “Set me as a seal upon your heart, As a seal upon your arm; For love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave; Its flames are flames of fire, A most vehement flame.” (Sos. 8:6) Love is not passive but it is passionate burning desire.

We must love the Way He loves if we are going to become His heart’s desire. In the gospels you hear the voice of the Bridegroom beckoning us into abandonment, “Take up your cross and follow Me. Leave it all behind and come after me. Say goodbye to houses and lands for my sake and follow Me.” This is the voice of a Bridegroom who gave all for the sake of love (Eph 5:29-32). Jesus Himself defined love like this “Greater love has no one than this, that to lay down one’s life for his friends” (Jn. 15:13) He loves us with all of His heart, soul, mind and strength and what He wants is a people yoked to Him in this kind of love. We are equally yoked to this shoreless ocean of Love not by the size of our love but by the all of our love. Though our all is small the point is all. He wants to be loved the way He loves, completely given in abandonment.

The more we pursue this lifestyle of Love the more we see our weakness and the more we hunger, thirst and mourn. The very reaching for mature love produces the attitudes in our heart that catch His eye. We must reach to give Him what He is looking for from our heart, soul and mind. These are primarily internal realities that overflow externally. He isn’t asking for your money, your talent or your ministry plan, He is asking for your heart! You could be one of the greatest men or women in history regardless of your social status or your life circumstance. These are not the things that define a man but the things that define a man are the issues of his heart.

What is going on behind your face? That is where so much of life takes place. There is a world on the inside of you as vast as the world on the out and this is where His eyes fall. He peers straight through your exterior right into your core reality and evaluates you according to your heart.

The energy starts inward and becomes an inferno of love. A man or a woman on fire will change the world and won’t end up burnt out in the end. The First Commandment always leads to the Second. Every light that shines is a light that burns. When you are on fire in love For God many will rejoice in that light and come into the fellowship of the flame.

There is a reason behind Creation and a Holy Heart who dreamt up this dream. We aren’t just vainly spinning on this ball called earth. It wasn’t an accident that we are here because there is something bigger going on. This is the “womb of eternity” and we have barely begun. These years are crucial as we are being formed into the image of Love. God is Love, looking for love therefore He fashioned and formed us in His image and we are created to love Him and be loved by Him.

I exist. Every moment counts because He sees my heart. I want to be able to stand before Him and say, “I did it! Here’s my heart on fire with passion for Your name."

Everybody dies, no way around it but there is a “why” behind the “what” of this life. The more than meets the eye is our hope and our future. Without hope we are in despair but as those who know the end of the story let us run the race with endurance, on fire with love, as burning and shining lamps. This wisdom will be justified. There is more.

Room of Mirrors

You know those crazy mirror rooms they have at carnivals? You know the ones.
Everywhere you turned, was your reflection. No matter where your gaze went it would fall on you. Scariest thing, ever. It always put me on edge, resulting in an introverted personality following the experience. It made me feel trapped within myself...like it was a curse...that I was the only thing standing in my way...and that I was my biggest fan and biggest enemy.
How true is this?
There's nothing that hurts more than the truth putting you in place. It's the nature of being human to plant the blame on everthing but ourselves. We are so skilled in deception, a lot of us even thrive off of getting away with something.
But have you ever just wanted to crawl out of your skin? Ever felt like it was holding you back from your true potential? Like its barrier was the reason for everything bad in your life? We so often forget what lies beneath the skin...what rests beneath the beautiful exterior. You can't see it in an X-ray and you can't see it in the surgical room. It's your core hidden inside the very core of your being.
The spirit. It drives every decision that you make, every yes you say, every no you're too afraid to speak. It's what makes you cry, or laugh, or lose yourself in passion. It's your spirit, and this is who you are. Your spirit is an exact reflection of who you are. It cannot lie. But, so few choose to enter into the room of mirros, and so many never connect with the honest version of themselves.
What a sad thing to live your life without.
How about this...when you get to the Room of Mirrors...go inside.
And embrace what you see.

Beacon.

Do we know what we're capable of?
On Wednesday, the first snow of the season was lightly covering the ground, it was pure, it was gentle, and it was a stark contradiction against the world we live in. I was in my car listening to "Andvari" by Sigur Rós when I began to feel emotion trembling inside of me. It's so easy to be numb. Without realizing how or when or why, we are so good at being void of any true emotion. Sometimes we go through our entire life this way, never knowing why there is an emptiness crowding the spaces where love, joy, sadness, conviction, and peace should dwell. We've heard it said that it's "safer" to build up walls. We've heard that it's "easier" to keep your guard up. Yet from my experience in matters of "safer" and "easier", I would have to say "no, that's definitely not how it is."
Do we know what we're capable of?
This is a serious question. There have been people in our lives that have looked at us and seen nothing...but there have also been people who have looked at us and seen more. It's as if they've looked right through us to our very core, to our soul or spirit or heart, and stolen a glimpse into the endless possibility of our potential. This may spark a cord within you to reach for your ambitions. This might even plant a seed in your heart to start trying again. But, this may even leave you feeling helpless against your own self. Why? Because you don't feel like you're capable of anything. But, this is a lie.
What is a beacon? It is a fire that can be seen from a distance. It is a call for help, for attention, for awareness, for rescue, for truth, and for hope. Do we know what we're capable of? We can be A Beacon in a time where hope and truth has been thrust into the middle of a thrashing sea. We can be that lighthouse and fire on top of a hill that declares hope. We will, we can, we need to.
Do you know what you're capable of?
It's greatness.

a penny for your thoughts.

Without knowing why we're good at something, we accept it with no further judgement. For instance someone who's good at math, or listening, or creating delicious creations in the kitchen realizes this and that's that. Whether you believe it's genes or a gift, you've got something. If you don't think you have that something, I promise that you do. Maybe you're disguising it with something else, or maybe you don't feel like it's worthy of being anything other than "no big deal."
If you've ever heard the saying, "you are what you do," you know how very true that can become. We can be consumed by what we do. But have you ever heard, "just because you're good at it doesn't mean you have to do it." ?
Aside from our talents, aside from our skills, aside from what's expected, what makes you reach for more? If it happens to be your talent, congrats. If not, congrats. You have an amazing adventure ahead of you either way. The pressure to do what you're good at is so rampant, because success is promised to be more plausible. Quite often, this isn't questioned and is pursued often leaving the pursuer stressed, unhappy, and discontent.
But what is success anyway?
There are talents, gifts, intellect, and passions in all of us. We were made this way. But know that life is short and a fleeting glance and if we're only grabbing hold of what we can reach, what are we accomplishing? NOTHING is too far, too large, too impossible.

how do you know?

"But, how do you know?"

For a lot of us, this question is easy to answer. Most commonly we respond with, "I just do." And it's even better when we get the question, "how do you just know?"
In all honesty, I personally dislike this question. If you were to ask me how I know chocolate is good for me, I would respond, "It just is, okay?" And hopefully you would just drop the subject. This question makes me feel cornered, pressured, and even doubtful of what I was once confident in. Some things are extremely difficult to explain, especially if you feel the need to persuade someone into your belief. We can't expect anyone to understand why we want the things we want...or why we do the things we do. We can try and defend how we know things with facts, statistics, proof, and most importantly,faith. The human will is an amazing thing. Whether you're stubborn or passive, we all have it.

As you can see, this blog is centered around one specific topic: Missions. I have always felt drawn towards it, even as a child. Without ever knowing why, the desire to bring the name of Christ throughout the earth has been placed on my heart.

In Psalms 20:4 it says, "He will give you your heart's desire and carry out all your plans."
In Psalms 37:4 it says, "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."
In 1 Timothy 4:12 it says, "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."

I can't prove to you that the Lord has called me to missions, I can't show you with statistics that He individually chose me, just as I can't promise you the sun is going to rise tomorrow. It all comes down to faith. Faith that we all have a purpose in this universe. In Jeremiah 29:11 it says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I have a passion that has been instilled in my heart for missions. This January I have a great opportunity to grow as a disciple of Jesus and exercise the abilities that He has given me. It's a bit intimidating and I'm not sure what to expect other than a bunch of surprises and challenges. I am so ready to see where He takes me.

(for more info, www.destinationparadise.org)

found.

I can't be found in myself; I discover myself in others.

That much is clear. And I suspect that I also love and care for myself in others.

dares.

Every great life dares. Like a man or woman of extaordinary beauty,
it is almost ugly. Each attempt approaches the grotesque in its reach.

more.

More is out there than is here inside. I don't want to be afraid to believe. I want to long for something. I don't want to be afraid to stick my hands above the clouds. I want to throw myself on my doubts. One has to be devestated. Time and time again one has to be torn apart by the facts.

stands.

Stands must be taken. If I am to respect myself, I have to search myself for what I believe is right and take a stand on what I find. Otherwise I have not gathered together what I've been given; I have not embraced what I have learned; I lack my own conviction.

The trip.

YWAM (Youth With a Mission) is an organization dedicated to mobilizing followers of Christ throughout the world. Beginning in January 2011, a Discipleship Training School (DTS) based out of Belize is starting 9 month program which involves 3 months on a boat focusing on individual growth...3 months doing outreach as a team...and 3 months as an individual interning somewhere in the world. This is such a great opportunity that the Lord has placed in front of me and I am beyond excited! An estimated cost of this trip would be $10,000.
I know He will provide.